Stephen A. Crockett Jr.'s posts - Polish uPOST

GOP Senate Candidate Who Dressed as a Blackface ‘Rapper’ Issues Half-Assed Apology, Points Out His Black Friends GOP Senate Candidate Who Dressed as a Blackface ‘Rapper’ Issues Half-Assed Apology, Points Out His Black Friends

Hal Patton is the current mayor of Edwardsville, Ill. He’s also a GOP state Senate candidate, and he’s an asshole who either doesn’t understand why blackface is bad or doesn’t care.

Ex-ESPN Reporter Ed Werder Cries the Whitest Male Tears Over Sports Illustrated Job Posting Ex-ESPN Reporter Ed Werder Cries the Whitest Male Tears Over Sports Illustrated Job Posting

Ex-ESPN reporter Ed Werder is a white man. As both a sports reporter and a white man, Werder, and all those like him, make up some 90 percent of sports journalism, so when Sports Illustrated tweeted out that they had a spot for an entry-level news writer position, SI senior writer Charlotte Wilder saw this a golden…

Washington State Football Coach Tweets Fake Obama Video and Then Proves His Ignorance by Arguing About It Washington State Football Coach Tweets Fake Obama Video and Then Proves His Ignorance by Arguing About It

Mike Leach is the head coach of the Washington State football team. He also proved himself to be a fucking idiot after he tweeted out an obviously fake, conspiracy theorist video of former President Barack Obama under the guise of civil conversation:

Melania Trump Hates Seeing Immigrant Children Taken From Their Parents but Not Enough to Tell Her Husband to End It Melania Trump Hates Seeing Immigrant Children Taken From Their Parents but Not Enough to Tell Her Husband to End It

Melania Trump has a voice; she just chooses not to use it. In fact, when Ofdonald does speak, it’s usually to spout the lifted words from black America’s first-lady-until-further-notice, the great and incomparable Michelle Obama, or it’s to shout “Be Best”—because that makes a lot of sense.

10 Things I Already Know About You if You’re Listening to Nas’ New Album Nasir 10 Things I Already Know About You if You’re Listening to Nas’ New Album Nasir

Sometime in the ungodly hours after midnight—the hours when men get drunk and send “Hey Bighead, you up?” texts—one of the cinderblock pillars in the upper portion of hip-hop’s foundation released an album.

A Week After Being Arrested in a Trailer Park, Kellen Winslow Jr. Is Arrested Again on Charges of Kidnapping and Rape A Week After Being Arrested in a Trailer Park, Kellen Winslow Jr. Is Arrested Again on Charges of Kidnapping and Rape

What happened to Kellen Winslow Jr.? Last week, the former NFL tight end was arrested in San Diego on suspicion of burglary after he was reportedly seen snooping around a trailer park.

New York Attorney General Sues Trump Foundation, Claiming It Was Little More Than a Checkbook for the President: Report New York Attorney General Sues Trump Foundation, Claiming It Was Little More Than a Checkbook for the President: Report

On Thursday the New York attorney general sued quite a few people and institutions with the name “Trump,” including the president, sons Eric and Donald Jr., daughter Ivanka and the Donald J. Trump Foundation, claiming that charitable donations made to the nonprofit were used to settle debts owed by the family and, get…

Trump Saluted a North Korean General, but Let’s Keep Talking About Kneeling NFL Players Trump Saluted a North Korean General, but Let’s Keep Talking About Kneeling NFL Players

During his visit with brutal North Korean dictator—and wearer of one of the tightest Asian-man high-top fades, Kim Jong Un—President NuNu von SherbetSkin saluted a uniformed North Korean military officer because he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing.

Wait, Rudy Giuliani Was Once Married to His Cousin? That Explains Everything Wait, Rudy Giuliani Was Once Married to His Cousin? That Explains Everything

So the news was supposed to be that President Donald Trump’s newest counselor, Rudy Giuliani, a notorious cheater, had cheated on his third wife, which really isn’t news. Giuliani has been married three times, and he’s reportedly now seeing a very-also-married Maria Rosa Ryan. The two were reportedly spotted “getting…

After Meeting With One of the World’s Worst Dictators, Trump Declares the Press America’s Biggest Enemy After Meeting With One of the World’s Worst Dictators, Trump Declares the Press America’s Biggest Enemy

So now that the president of the United States is all “Go, best friend, that’s my best friend” with the tyrannical leader of North Korea, he somehow believes that the press is America’s biggest enemy.

ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith Confirms Long-Held Speculation That He Likes Big Butts and He Cannot Lie ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith Confirms Long-Held Speculation That He Likes Big Butts and He Cannot Lie

Despite Stephen A. Smith’s penchant for browbeating sportspeople of color, he is, in fact, still a black man, and he confirmed this during a spot on Snoop Dogg’s Double G News Network, in which he declared that he is an ass man.

Trump’s Personal Fixer Michael Cohen’s Lawyers Have Bailed, and He’s Expected to Sing Like 1986 El DeBarge Trump’s Personal Fixer Michael Cohen’s Lawyers Have Bailed, and He’s Expected to Sing Like 1986 El DeBarge

Michael Cohen, the president’s longtime fixer who is currently being pressed out by federal prosecutors in New York City, is drinking lemon tea with honey to prep his throat for his rendition of Mahalia Jackson’s “Amazing Grace,” and that’s because Cohen is getting ready to sing.

Trump Continues His Petty Presidency, Vows to Make Canada Pay for Trudeau’s Comments Trump Continues His Petty Presidency, Vows to Make Canada Pay for Trudeau’s Comments

Welp, the G-7 summit happened, and as expected, the president of the United States showed his entire untanned ass on a global stage. And even though the party has ended, that hasn’t stopped Donald Trump from holding a grudge.

10 Reasons Dennis Rodman’s Summit Interview Was the Most Bizarre Must-Watch Television Moment in 2018 10 Reasons Dennis Rodman’s Summit Interview Was the Most Bizarre Must-Watch Television Moment in 2018

Dennis Rodman—or the Worm, as he was affectionately known during his playing days in the NBA—just gave arguably (although I wouldn’t argue with me about this) the best piece of television of 2018.

Dennis Rodman Arrives in Singapore Ahead of Trump and Kim Jong Un’s Summit, and This Proves I’m a Soothsayer Dennis Rodman Arrives in Singapore Ahead of Trump and Kim Jong Un’s Summit, and This Proves I’m a Soothsayer

Look, I don’t like to brag, but I’m kind of a big deal. One of my best traits is how humble I am. I’ve been known to predict the weather, R&B-group breakups, LeBron James leaving Miami and leaving Cleveland again, and Dennis Rodman needing to be at the summit between North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and President Hymen…

Terrell Owens Calls Jason Whitlock and Michael Irvin Uncle Toms, Offers Irvin ‘Powdered’ Doughnut Terrell Owens Calls Jason Whitlock and Michael Irvin Uncle Toms, Offers Irvin ‘Powdered’ Doughnut

The newest Pro Football Hall of Famer, who has no plans of attending his own induction ceremony, Terrell Owens, is currently involved in a hilarious Twitter feud with former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin and arguably the worst person to ever don a detective hat without a trace of irony, Jason Whitlock.

Stormy Daniels’ Lawyer Michael Avenatti Wanted Evidence of Rudy Giuliani’s Porn Habits. Looks Like He Found It Stormy Daniels’ Lawyer Michael Avenatti Wanted Evidence of Rudy Giuliani’s Porn Habits. Looks Like He Found It

The lawyer beef started sometime last week after the president’s newest counsel, Rudy Giuliani, went on a sex-worker-bashing tirade in an attempt to defame Stormy Daniels’ alleged affair with President Donald Trump in 2006.

Trump Wants to Posthumously Pardon Muhammad Ali, Who Rolled Over in His Grave so the President Could Kiss His Ass Trump Wants to Posthumously Pardon Muhammad Ali, Who Rolled Over in His Grave so the President Could Kiss His Ass

Not sure if Donald Trump believes that all deceased black boxers need pardoning or if he just likes pardoning things, but during his nearly 18-minute rant on the White House lawn Friday before heading off to embarrass America once again on the global stage at the G-7 summit, the president floated the idea of pardoning…

Trump Talks to Vladimir Putin So Much, They’re on a Friends-and-Family Plan  Trump Talks to Vladimir Putin So Much, They’re on a Friends-and-Family Plan 

Russian President Vladimir Putin doesn’t know that admitting that he talks to President Donald Trump on the regular probably isn’t a good thing, considering that the Trump administration is currently being investigated for Russian collusion in the 2016 election. But that’s exactly what the Russian leader did Tuesday.

Trump Wants to Ask Kneeling NFL Players Whom He Should Pardon Next Trump Wants to Ask Kneeling NFL Players Whom He Should Pardon Next

President Donald Trump won’t handle the basic duties of presidenting, like not tweeting from the White House executive bathroom in the early morning, but now he’s becoming the Oprah of pardons.

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