For some children, Disneyland is a magical fantasy kingdom full of spinning teacups, Mickey Mouse-shaped waffles, and animated characters who will hug you. For me, though, the amusement park beheld untold terrors, like eerily mute Belles who looked NOTHING like the real thing, not to mention the possibility that at…
In a story that’s a couple days old, but eternally upsetting, an employee of Disneyland Paris was found dead in the Phantom Manor—Europe’s equivalent of the Haunted Mansion—on April 4.
Several of the biggest theme parks in the United States are increasing their security measures because of recent mass shootings and terrorist attacks occurring, uh, everywhere, constantly. Disneyland, Universal Studios, Disney World, and SeaWorld will all start using metal detectors; Disney World is also banning the…
The happiest place on earth (if you have $100 per person to participate) has just gotten a little safer. According to KTLA, a former employee who tried to trade tickets for sexual acts has just been sentenced to one year in jail and five years probation.
Mickey Mouse has been playing games in Europe. A recent investigation found that Disneyland Paris has been purposely overcharging British and German visitors, presumably in an attempt to double down on that that whole “French people are rude” thing.
Today is the 60th anniversary of the opening of Disneyland.
The 11-year-old girl’s mother saw the Facebook message first. It came from a profile that looked like it belonged to the girl’s beloved aunt, but the words didn’t sound like her.
If you choose to torture yourself at one of Disney’s theme parks this summer, there’s something in particular you should try to avoid—selfie stick users. At the California Screamin’ ride at Disney California Adventure, a passenger thought it was a good idea to pull out their selfie stick right before the attraction’s…
Through Discovery Arcade, past Le Petit Train de Cirque, across pavement that wouldn't dare crumble stateside, is a small bench sandwiched between two slightly overgrown hedges. The ground is littered with ash. This is Disneyland Paris, and despite signs to the contrary, this is a popular spot for smoking.
Disneyland has spent the last few months battling a measles outbreak, which scientists have now linked to—wait for it—low vaccination rates. Huh. It's almost as if diseases that we essentially eradicated will return if children aren't goddamn vaccinated.
The Disneyland measles outbreak has now spread to 14 states, with 98 confirmed cases. Health officials in Arizona have warned that 1,000 people could have been exposed and urged them to stay away from Super Bowl events. The White House suggested that everyone listen to scientists and vaccinate their children. And now,…
Oregon Trail fans, rejoice! Get pumped, reenactors! The past is back and it's badder than ever, in the form of a real-deal measles outbreak. The American West is your own, all-too-real colonial Williamsburg!
Disneyland: it used to be the happiest place on earth and now it's just a fetid wasteland of contagious disease. The number of measles cases from the Disneyland outbreak almost doubled this week. At least 85 cases are now confirmed in seven states, the latest in Nebraska. Health officials in Alaska are currently…
Thanks to a new Food and Drug Administration ruling, not even movie theaters and pizza shops will be safe havens for calorie overloads anymore. Every shop, picture house and chain restaurant must list their menu's calorie count. Merry Christmas and Happy Thanksgiving!
One writer chronicled his slow descent into hell, aka a 24-hour marathon Disney theme park visit. The results are nothing short of absolutely spectacular.
Disneyland is currently so massively packed that, according to experts, either ticket prices go through the stratosphere, or the company adds another park. Or the happiest place on Earth becomes progressively more 28 Days Later-like. Doesn't that sound like FUN?!?!
Melissa Behnken was recently visiting Disneyland with her husband and three children when she was approached by a park employee who allegedly insisted that she either pull her shirt up or put on a sweater because she was showing too much skin.
Grumpy met Grumpy and now the Internet can go home.
The dentist chair*, the DMV, Whole Foods at 2pm on Fourth of July. That's a list of places I'd rather be than at that funhouse hell hole known as Disneyland.
Disney may seem like an idyllic place where cartoons aren't imaginary and dreams do come true, but behind the brightly colored buildings lies a dark underworld. On Tuesday, Toontown was rocked by a trashcan explosion, later found to be caused by a dry-ice "bomb," aka bottle of soda with dry ice in it. Visitors of…