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Disney Is Turning a Wench From the Pirates of the Caribbean Ride Into a Pirate, for Feminism  Disney Is Turning a Wench From the Pirates of the Caribbean Ride Into a Pirate, for Feminism 

A redheaded wench intended to be sold off to pirates on the “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride in Disney World, Disneyland and Disneyland Paris is getting a major promotion: she’s gonna be a swashbuckling pirate too! Hooray!

How I Let Disney Track My Every Move How I Let Disney Track My Every Move

On a recent trip to Disney World, I had an unusual experience. I rode a ride. It broke. We were evacuated, and a few minutes later, I got a picture on my phone. It was an empty raft sliding down Splash Mountain, taken at precisely the moment I was walking down the emergency stairwell. It was weird.

Firefighters Were Feeding Alligators at Disney World Firefighters Were Feeding Alligators at Disney World

Since a little boy was dragged to his death by an alligator at Disney’s Grand Floridian in Orlando, people have been looking for answers. The answer to the question, “How could this happen?” is almost certainly, “It’s Florida and alligators live there,” but people keep digging. Now they’ve unearthed some very damning…

240 'Nuisance' Alligators Have Been Found and Trapped at Disney World in the Last Decade 240 'Nuisance' Alligators Have Been Found and Trapped at Disney World in the Last Decade

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation insists that they’re confident the alligator that grabbed and drowned 2-year-old Lane Graves at Disney World’s Seven Seas Lagoon last week is dead. But this isn’t their first rodeo.

Disneyland, Disney World and SeaWorld All Increase Security, Begin Using Metal Detectors  Disneyland, Disney World and SeaWorld All Increase Security, Begin Using Metal Detectors 

Several of the biggest theme parks in the United States are increasing their security measures because of recent mass shootings and terrorist attacks occurring, uh, everywhere, constantly. Disneyland, Universal Studios, Disney World, and SeaWorld will all start using metal detectors; Disney World is also banning the…

35 Disney Employees Busted for Child Sex Offenses in the Last 10 Years 35 Disney Employees Busted for Child Sex Offenses in the Last 10 Years

Horrifying: Since 2006, at least 35 Disney employees have been arrested and "accused of sex crimes involving children, trying to meet a minor for sex, or for possession of child pornography." 32 have been convicted.

​Dude Loses Fingertips on Pirates of the Caribbean Ride at Disney World ​Dude Loses Fingertips on Pirates of the Caribbean Ride at Disney World

It looks like my slowly waning fear of amusement park rides has suddenly waxed again.

Walt Disney World and the Homeless Underclass in Orlando Walt Disney World and the Homeless Underclass in Orlando

Disney World has a homeless problem. There are 1,126 homeless households in Florida's Osceola County, because those families can't afford an average $800 a month rent while being paid a $8.03 minimum wage for working at Disney.

It Happened to Her: xoJane Screwed Up Her Disney World Rape Story It Happened to Her: xoJane Screwed Up Her Disney World Rape Story

I've long hesitated to write much criticism about fellow ladyblogs. It's not a matter of camaraderie or believing that our peers are immune to criticism. It's more like: We're all trying to do our own thing and do it in our own ways, as best we can and, yes, I am aware, it's not like Jezebel is perfect. What's the…

Disney World and Toontown Are Not Immune to Perils of the Real World Disney World and Toontown Are Not Immune to Perils of the Real World

Disney may seem like an idyllic place where cartoons aren't imaginary and dreams do come true, but behind the brightly colored buildings lies a dark underworld. On Tuesday, Toontown was rocked by a trashcan explosion, later found to be caused by a dry-ice "bomb," aka bottle of soda with dry ice in it. Visitors of…

Rich People Hire Disabled Tour Guides So They Can Cut Lines at Disney Rich People Hire Disabled Tour Guides So They Can Cut Lines at Disney

Ah, Disney World — a collection of whimsically themed structures built on top of a swamp, in which fully-grown adults gambol about in rodent costumes cooing at the assembled youth of America. While this magical bog may seem to be a factory of simple, innocent fun, it hides a darker underbelly: Disney World is a…

Disney World Has Just Built Some Fancy New Castles for Its Favorite Princesses Disney World Has Just Built Some Fancy New Castles for Its Favorite Princesses

Disney World may be great and all, but if there's one complaint the rodent-infested toon autocracy fields too often, it's that there just aren't enough castles. I mean, there's that one at the center of the Magic Kingdom, but that's really more of a chateau, and one could hardly expect to fortify such a gaudy manse…

The 10 Best Things to Do Drunk at Disney World The 10 Best Things to Do Drunk at Disney World

For the spring break of my sophomore year of high school, my father, in an attempt at parent-child bonding, offered to take me on a trip. "Madeleine," he said. "You are young and bright. The world is yours to discover. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go in the continental U.S. and we will go there. Want to go to Oxford…

Disney to Finally Serve Booze at the Magic Kingdom in Orlando Disney to Finally Serve Booze at the Magic Kingdom in Orlando

One of the last booze-peddling holdouts in the theme park racket, Disney World's Magic Kingdom in Orlando, will now start offering beer and wine for the first time in its 41-year history, but only at the Beauty and the Beast-themed Be Our Guest restaurant set to open this November as part of the much-anticipated…

Florida Conservatives Are Trying to Suck All the Gay Fun Out of Disney World Florida Conservatives Are Trying to Suck All the Gay Fun Out of Disney World

The Florida Family Association has renewed its quixotic holy war against Disney World's unofficial "Gay Day," which takes place on June 2 at the Orlando resort, hopefully at the Polynesian Resort because that place always seemed like the ideal location for an awesome gay luau. The FFA has said that it's so far raised…

Inventor of Spanx is World's Youngest Female Self-Made Billionaire Inventor of Spanx is World's Youngest Female Self-Made Billionaire

A product promising to help people look thin has given its inventor a big fat wallet. Thanks to her ingenious idea to combine insecurity, enormous underpants, and elastic sausage casings, Sara Blakely, the forty-one-year-old inventor of Spanx, is now the world's youngest female self-made billionaire.

Sophia Grace and Rosie Are Going (Have Gone) to Disney World Sophia Grace and Rosie Are Going (Have Gone) to Disney World

Damn it, Ellen. Don't you know that if you keep bringing them over here, they will lose their adorable accents and then they'll have nothing?! Until then, however, they remain totally darling.

Company Rips Off Parents Who Aspire to Manage their Kids’ Showbiz Careers Company Rips Off Parents Who Aspire to Manage their Kids’ Showbiz Careers

Everyone grudgingly admits that raising children can be an emotionally rewarding experience, but the best reason to have kids has nothing to do with the joy of one day creating a good conversationalist and competent personal chauffeur — the best reason to have kids is that they can make you buckets of money,…

Disneyland to Be Overrun by Terrifying Goatees, Mustaches, Beards Disneyland to Be Overrun by Terrifying Goatees, Mustaches, Beards

Who says Disney isn't a hip company? Yesterday they announced that they are totally going to chill out and let employees of their amusement parks have beards and goatees. This loosening of their notoriously strict grooming regulations comes as welcome news to Disney's cast members, as they call their employees. As one…

Soft-Hearted Dum-Dum Tim Tebow Acts Like a Super Decent Guy Sometimes Soft-Hearted Dum-Dum Tim Tebow Acts Like a Super Decent Guy Sometimes

Steinbeckian simpleton Tim Tebow is a divisive figure. On one hand, he was in that obnoxious Super Bowl commercial where his mom implied that women who die in chldbirth aren't tough enough, he's really seems to think that God cares about football and he's been known to spend free time "converting" Catholic Filipinos…

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