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Justice for Ivanka’s Chinese Nanny, XiXi Justice for Ivanka’s Chinese Nanny, XiXi

Right now, Donald Trump is in China hamming it up with the country’s authoritarian leader, President Xi Jinping, if you couldn’t tell by his new very low-res Twitter banner:

This Guy Seems to Be Trying Pretty Hard to Get Us All Killed  This Guy Seems to Be Trying Pretty Hard to Get Us All Killed 

Welcome to Barf Bag, a daily politics roundup to help you sort through the chaotic Trumpian news cycle.

Bonkers Trump Calls to Australian, Mexican Leadership Leak: 'This Shows Me to Be a Dope' Bonkers Trump Calls to Australian, Mexican Leadership Leak: 'This Shows Me to Be a Dope'

The Washington Post has obtained transcripts of phone calls Donald Trump made early in his presidency to Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto and, hoooo boy, they are even more batshit than you might have expected.

Oops, Trump Says U.S. 'Can't' Form Cyber Security Unit With Russia Oops, Trump Says U.S. 'Can't' Form Cyber Security Unit With Russia

From the looks of it, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have been enjoying a jolly ol’ time together at the G-20 summit. Seated beneath their countries’ flags, they engaged in acute manspreading and warmly shook hands as Putin took the measure of the autocratic sucker beaming before him. Trump also tweeted…

Trump Might Cancel U.K. Visit Because the British Have Hurt His Fee-Fees Trump Might Cancel U.K. Visit Because the British Have Hurt His Fee-Fees

Donald Trump’s visit to the United Kingdom has been a contentious topic for months now. Most recently, London mayor Sadiq Khan has called for the trip’s cancellation due to Trump’s boorish response to the city’s recent terrorist attack. Now our kindergartner-in-chief says he isn’t going to the U.K. if its people are…

Trump Unclear on Details of Pull-Out Method  Trump Unclear on Details of Pull-Out Method 

On Thursday afternoon, as was heavily hinted in the White House’s ghoulish Mark Burnett-style buildup, a man currently being investigated for potentially cheating his way into the presidency pulled the world’s second-biggest polluter out of the Paris Climate Agreement, a document that he almost surely has not read and…

Everybody Had a Blast At the Vatican, Why Do You Ask?  Everybody Had a Blast At the Vatican, Why Do You Ask? 

Donald Trump visited his enemy Pope Francis on Wednesday in Vatican City, and by the looks of it, everyone had a lovely time.

North Korea Tests Strategic Missile That Could Carry a Nuclear Warhead North Korea Tests Strategic Missile That Could Carry a Nuclear Warhead

This weekend, North Korea successfully tested a medium long-range strategic missile, a weapon their official Korean Central News Agency says can carry a nuclear warhead.

Trump Thinks Kim Jong Un Is a 'Smart Cookie,' Would Totally Meet With Him Trump Thinks Kim Jong Un Is a 'Smart Cookie,' Would Totally Meet With Him

Donald Trump—the human equivalent of a teenage boy slumber party abundant in erections and pimples—has lately engaged in some tough guy talk regarding North Korea. And in turn, North Korea’s government has suggested that Trump stop tweeting pugnacious nonsense if he doesn’t want trouble. But amidst these crackling…

The Secretary of State Is Reportedly Too Fatigued to Do His Job The Secretary of State Is Reportedly Too Fatigued to Do His Job

Rex Tillerson, former oil man and current Secretary of State, presides over an emptied-out department facing deep budget cuts with limited influence in Trump’s White House. Despite this, he is responsible for handling a potential nuclear crisis.

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson Is Working Remotely From a German Sanitarium Secretary of State Rex Tillerson Is Working Remotely From a German Sanitarium

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is in Bonn, Germany for the G-20 Summit, where he’s reportedly sleeping, eating and doing diplomacy at a sanitarium 30 minutes outside the city, a hotspot hospital featuring “elderly people in wheelchairs arriving for spa treatments.”

Republicans Introduce Bill Proposing Withdrawal From United Nations Republicans Introduce Bill Proposing Withdrawal From United Nations

House Republicans have introduced a bill that, if passed, would set in motion the United States’ withdrawal from the United Nations.

John Kerry Gave a Measured Speech Denouncing Israeli Settlements, Which Went About as Well as You'd Expect John Kerry Gave a Measured Speech Denouncing Israeli Settlements, Which Went About as Well as You'd Expect

Outgoing Secretary of State John Kerry, who’s been tasked with the increasingly grueling job of dealing with right-wing Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s ideologically rigid leadership, gave an unusually fiery speech on Wednesday outlining the Obama Administration’s reasoning in not vetoing last week’s UN…

Israeli Prime Minister Hopes to Work With Trump to Undo Iran Deal Israeli Prime Minister Hopes to Work With Trump to Undo Iran Deal

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has voiced his high hopes for the Trump Administration’s relationship with Israel. In fact, he believes Trump will be amenable to unraveling the Iran deal, finalized in 2015 by President Obama.

John Kerry: It'd Be Cool If Trump Told Us Before Calling Foreign Leaders John Kerry: It'd Be Cool If Trump Told Us Before Calling Foreign Leaders

I think it’s safe to say that Secretary of State John Kerry has not had the most tranquil of weekends. On Friday evening, we learned that PEOTUS and leering brillo pad Donald Trump had made an ill-advised call to the president of Taiwan, thereby imperiling our delicate diplomatic relations with China. China considers…

Trump Has 'Animated' Conversation With Murder-Friendly Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte  Trump Has 'Animated' Conversation With Murder-Friendly Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte 

Donald Trump—whose insane and haphazard calls to foreign leaders have already led one diplomat to refer to our president-elect, terrifyingly, as a “bull in a nuclear china shop”—has reportedly participated in a “very engaging, animated talk” with Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte, according to a Duterte aide.…

Canada And Denmark Tussle Over Arctic Island With Bottles Of Liquor  Canada And Denmark Tussle Over Arctic Island With Bottles Of Liquor 

Canada and Denmark are playing tug-o-war with a wee bit of territory in the Arctic, and they’re doing so in the most goddamn adorable manner: by staking claim with bottles of liquor.

Donald Trump Meets With Benjamin Netanyahu, Calls Jerusalem Israel's Capital Donald Trump Meets With Benjamin Netanyahu, Calls Jerusalem Israel's Capital

According to American diplomatic parlance, the city of Jerusalem does not belong to Israel, or any country, for that matter. But when Donald Trump spoke with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Sunday, he promised that this policy would change: Jerusalem would henceforth be recognized as the capital of Israel.

Obama Arrives in Cuba, Bridges the Decades-Long Chasm Between Two Nations Obama Arrives in Cuba, Bridges the Decades-Long Chasm Between Two Nations

On Sunday, March 20, 2016, President Barack Obama and his family landed in Havana, Cuba. He is the first American president to set foot on the island in 88 years.

Sochi Mess Has Finally Gone Too Far: U.S. Athletes Deprived of Yogurt Sochi Mess Has Finally Gone Too Far: U.S. Athletes Deprived of Yogurt

Somewhere in Newark Liberty International Airport, vessel containing 5,000 Chobani yogurt containers idly sits in refrigeration, its future unknown. The yogurt, meant to nourish the athletes of the US Olympic Team in Sochi, had been blocked by the Russian government on the grounds that the US has not submitted the…

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